T9 - three two four five

“To that really groovy chick that catches the 9.37 train from Wolli Creek, I find you really attractive and want to meet up for lunch”

translates to

I’ve been stalking you like a lion stalks its prey. You will do for my next self-made camera sex video. When can we make a formal time for me to rape you in that that self-made video?

“You left your book on the train as you left in a hurry at Central station”

translates to

I thought I would steal money from your wallet for drugs but felt bad so I thought I would give you back your book and not the wallet in case you suspect me. So that I can continue stealing your wallet next time

“To the high school girl that left her folder on the seat, contact me at 04-blah blah blah”

translates to

I’m a sexual deviant and especially, a pedophile. I still have your folder from when I chased you down that alley way. Pedophiles have needs as well.

So often, I find these types of comments in this section of the paper and often find mindless or mind-dumbing. e.g. the “look who’s looking” section was designed to allow perverts confess that they were actually perving.

But also a way to allow particular readings to look as stupid as they sound by voicing verbal diarrhea in this section. Sit down, shut up and practice a form of verbal constipation instead filling airheads with a point of argument coming from someone more stupid than themselves.